Scattered Reflections
September 29, 2007
By: Katelynn A. Moxon ©

The anguish that I feel
Festers away at my broken heart
Where once there was light, now only darkness can be found.
The memories claw away, like talons ripping at my tainted soul.

Everywhere I turn there are people watching me,
Waiting for me to fail and mocking me as I go.
The blood begins to spill
Pouring from my open wounds.
It coagulates in a pool at the bottom of my aching feet.
You have broken me and I can no longer move.

I feel your presence and it haunts me-
Taunting me into a fight;
But my soul is tired and falls to slumber in darkness.
Pain befriends me as the silence grows too loud.
I am broken and you have left me;
Scattered like the pieces of a child’s game
Left unwanted on the floor.
I watch you, yet I cannot hold you.

Forever I am in pieces.
Shattered like bits of broken glass ground into the dirty blacktop.
I reach out for you,
My aching fingers grasp at thin air.
Once again you have slipped away like the shadows from the morning light.

The pain it wracks my body
Making me claustrophobic in my own skin.
From afar I catch a glimpse of you and her;
Just a fragment of a moment, a brief second.
The tears I cry gently kiss my face; just as you once did.
I am angry with myself for loving you
And I taunt my own thoughts into a fight.

Just a splinter of a memory surfaces
Skimming my mind like the waves that kiss the shore.
An echo of your voice;
The brief smell of your skin stirs my slumbering soul
Memories or dreams?
Regardless, they are strangling me to death.
I gasp for air, but I am still suffocating from the pain.

Valium, Morphine, and Vikadine-
My trinity of friends whisper their criticisms aloud.
“You shouldn’t have gotten that close to him”. “It’s all over now”.
“Thanks for your support” I scream, as I fall somewhere between illusion and reality.

Although I am numb, I can still feel your hand in mine.
The veil parts and memories stain my innocent being.
My heart remembers you and sadly it quickens pace.
Flashes of our moments scatter through my mind
Gone as quickly as they came:

Flesh upon flesh
My desire your touch.
Our whispers tangled with the salty air
As your lips found mine.
The sound of our heartbeats the music of the night.
There was you and there was me, coupled with our passion-
The trinity of perfection.

Our shadows softly caressed, as gently you touched my breast.
Oh god, the kiss!
The taste of you, mingled with salt and sweat
Pure ecstasy in motion.

The moonlight fell through the window
Staining your face with light.
I remember looking into your soft, blue eyes-
Deep pools of emotion, and I thought I saw your soul.
Your long fingers, grasping, stopped and caught mine.
The moment was pure poetry
Like midnight and wine.

Perfection illustrated in the softness of your touch.
In that moment I gave myself to you-
I opened myself up and the walls came crumbling down.
I reached out and you grasped my hands;
Together forever falling.

Our hearts pounded as one.
The moonlight and shadows bathed us in gold,
As we fell further away from this world
Lost in the illusions of lust.

The ice cold world calls me back again.
My friends Valium, Morphine, and Vikadine give me a headache;
Their criticism is much too much.
I call upon my friend Jack Daniels to shut them all up.

Where once I was found, now I am lost.
Drowning in oblivion.
The pureness of perfection has tainted my soul.
I am broken, scattered like the bits of shattered glass and forgotten dreams
Found looming in the city’s alleyways.

The silver veil hangs separating one world from the next.
I stand helplessly perched between the two.
I long to feel your heartbeat,
That gentle caress upon my face;
But our earthly bodies have bound our souls.
You have spoken.
The rebuttal comes as the darkness crescendos,
And the thunder rolls.

The veil parts-
I reach for your fingers; the rain begins to fall.
Softly I whisper to no one:
“We almost had it all”